Falling Into Darkness
by An Errant Knight
Summary: A Chronicle of Regret...


I've always been afraid of the dark. I bet your parents tried and tried to reassure you that it wasn't anything to be afraid of, just night. Just darkness. They were wrong. Everything you've ever feared, ever dreamed of. It's my fault. Forgive me. If you, or anyone ever reads this, I promise that this is my redemption.

My name is of no importance. But, I was happy , my friends were always with me. But then, all of the sudden ,I wasn't. Never happy, never truly living. I was trapped. Here. On this tiny place. It was me, it was all my fault. I wanted to escape.

There was a boy, on the island where I resided. The boy who lived. He, it was told, found a hole between the worlds. It, to many, was only a myth. A tall tale for the children. For me. But it wasn't, not just a fanciful, wishful attempt to imagine other worlds. I knew they were there, but I just…never had a chance to reach them.

There was a man on the island one day. A stranger, someone no one had ever seen before. He carried a strangely shaped sword. He watched us, assumed that our purpose was simple. He called to me once. He told me once: "light is only what you see of it". At that point my heart was light with hope, hope to one day escape from this obscure hell. To live among the stars, the worlds, to fly. He told me. I never saw him again. Ever. I fear I may have doomed him to the darkness, to the monstrosity I created. The ending, is close approaching I fear. My foolish life and saga are…ending.

Though I never saw that man again, I often thought of what he said to me. His message let my mind wander. Wandering and waiting just for the right time. I began constructing a raft in secret. On an island that small, it was hard to hide my endeavors from them, Those "friends" of mine. To get anywhere off of that endless expanse of land, oasis, and desert would have been a dream at that point. My mind was spinning with idea after idea, flighty thoughts of fancy mostly. Yet some…were not as fanciful…as you would think.

There was a secret, my secret, a forgotten place where I went to think. It had a small opening in the top of the cave, overgrown with weeds and ivy, I can't quite remember now how, or when I found it, but it was mine. That girl, she found it too, my secret place. Then, soon, everything about it that attracted me to it…was gone. The lack of light, the cold walls, the door…

It was never really my idea to leave in that way, I wasn't meant to be the hero. I should have told him that. It was my fault. I destroyed it. Everything. Everything, every rock, every blade of grass, every life…gone. Just like that. It was my fault, all of it. I opened my heart to this, I still battle it with every step I take as I write this. It was over in minutes . I'm sorry. I never meant to drag any of you into this. Of course I never thought about anyone but myself. Until now. I write this trying to reach anyone, any blind hero that can save the rest of them. Its too late for me. I'm sorry. The darkness took the island like a storm. I tried to take them with me to escape to another world, any other place that that forsaken place that it is now. He ran to me. He never realized quite what I had done. I saw myself that night. Saw what I had become…and thought nothing of it. That creature still lives, even through my many attempts to literally and figuratively, slit its throat. I killed it once, for just a second. Just long enough to save him. For how long , and to what purpose I will never know. The creatures gather.

I left that world. How foolish I was. Never looking back, never. Even over my shoulder, looking, watching, my prison, my cage, it is my own body. Darkness pours from every pore. I feel my life slipping. He will know what I mean, the boy who lived. If you find him. Even if he exists no longer here, I must find a way to reach him. His heart is here. Give this memoir to him.

I feel…afraid.

The Darkness has taken many worlds. All shattered, like glass. Crushed in the palm of this beast. My beast. Myself. No longer. My heart no longer has any place here. These attacks come sooner and sooner with every day that I yet live, if you can call this unsavory existence living. I have nothing to add, not yet.

This will be the death of me. These black creatures, crawling, flowing, sliding, biting, dying. Its my fault. I unleashed this hell unto the worlds. This unforgiving demon. Taking whatever it can. I can only hold them back. Back, but not destroyed. My despair grows with each passing second. It all deserves this. Everything. Nothing. That will be what this becomes. All of it. All pieces on the floor, omens of the future, I can only hope that is not the case. Hope. My last light.

I forgot him. For the longest time. He was there at the back of my mind. That connection. That light extinguished, the darkness he became. Falling apart. The boy who lived. He was there. All along. He's different now. He gave up himself. His friends. Everything. Their forgotten memory. Now mine. The others. They live, but for how long I wonder. Can I let him, them. Can I let them go? I wish with all I have that they would be here. Fighting alongside me. Alongside. Haha. As if I could protect them. I won't forget. I'll never forget this. I cannot. Their light, my darkness. It's a delicate balance. Light by shadows. What a lie. Everything he stood for before. Gone. One with the darkness. He let them slip. His barriers. His strength. I suppose this is familiar. I, I'm…

They're here. The boy who lived. And the other one. The one with the heart of light. Purest light. He with the dark, casting shadows in every step. The monsters, the darkness. The boy. The one, the impetuous hero. I wish I could warn him. But my mind forgets what I am. His light blinds me. Is he afraid I wonder? The others, they told me. Told me I would regret seeing him. They were wrong. Is he? Seeing what I have become. An animal.

Its like I never told her. I did. All the time. Did she forget me? Her eyes for the light? Me being set as a chess piece in a grand game? Is that what I am? Its no longer what I am even I suppose. Who am I? Have I lost my first battle? Or is it merely my last. As even though that would be able to even be called such a grandiose term as a battle. A skirmish, perhaps. One I never took seriously. Forgive me.

I feel the end coming, though I am not lucky enough for it to be my end. Not yet. I will not let it. Nothing's like it used to be. Its hard to explain and even harder to understand. I cry madly, just to see this darkness here. A demon in the night, eating everything it sees, alive. The colors. Am I mad? I wish I could let this go. It's my fault. My mind debates with my heart. What's left of either, I don't know. I wish with all I am that I could let this Darkness, His Darkness. Let it go. Forget. The Light already has. Why can't I? The girl, she asked me if that was what I wanted. I said no. Why did I say no? WHY! I have to remind him. When he wakes up. I'll tell him everything. I promise.

Here. Everything is upside down. Why. Why is he here too? He was defeated. I suppose darkness cannot be created or destroyed. And if that is the case. Is darkness eternal? Or will his light return? Why won't you wake up?

What is in the absence of light? It cannot be darkness. There must be something beyond this. I could really use a wish right now. The sky seems brighter here. Even with no sun on this world, it seems that she has come back, followed her "heart". The Light is returning. Though not quite how I expected, it can only be good. Right?

I can't let him set them free. She made me promise. I won't let the Light die, not like this. I have to stop him, even if it means to go back to looking at the sky and seeing nothing but echoes, memories. I can't keep from looking at the light. I cannot keep hiding. Even though I still wear this darkness, I will not be blinded by myself. I have to see the truth.

I let myself be consumed. The Darkness returns to haunt me in everything I do. He gave me the darkness. Would that I could rid myself of it. I wish that he would die. He lives again, though I know not how. He desires power over everything through power over nothing. His darkness must be removed from here or nothing will return to how it was. Please. Wake up.

My purpose is coming to a close. I must not let him see me like this. Or her. She follows me like a poltergeist. Memories of her keep coming back to me in droves. His heart must have been put in contact with her. No matter what I do, what we do. We can't hide him here forever. He must realize this. His fake place of existence, his awakening cannot be postponed much longer.

On the other hand, neither can He be allowed to realize who he is. If he finds out that. Then ours plans will go forever to the devils that haunt my dreams. When I can sleep that is. I'm constantly tormented by myself. No. Not myself. Him. He must leave, Now. He is no longer that man I knew as a child. Only a dark being that wishes to destroy once again. Would I, should I, let him do what he must this time? His dark light ravages this world. The shadows that yet remain are blinded by his own darkness. I suppose I must thank him for that. But even with that small aid, shadows always exist. The light alone can quench their thirst.

This darkness. My Darkness. It's left me. Why? Its what I identified with. I can't see what I will do now. We must go home soon. I must resist. He is still in the back of my heart. Hiding. I won't let him see me like this. I won't let him be please by seeing himself reflected in me again. I will not give him that satisfaction. The heat is rising. He is almost awake. I can only hope that one of them finds him first, before the dark warrior does. The Fire is almost here.

I must say I am unsure of his intentions. At sometimes he follows orders, at others he runs. What consumes his thoughts? I wonder. It seems that the more people try to control him the more he searches for answers. He is so close. I can only hope he follows his semblance of a heart. He must not take his anger out on the Light. One of us is going down.

We are children. Of what I don't yet know. Me of darkness and he of light? I am not sure. Or is it the other way around. Did I succumb too soon? Did I forfeit my birthright to my fate? It cannot be a good sign. My mind races. I cannot sleep for excitement for his awakening. It is soon, I can feel it.

He found the Light. He can't let him out quite yet. He's so close. I pity him really. He can't find out the truth until he awakens. But with awakening comes the ravages of sleep. Will it be a new birth or will he forget. I must not forget my promise. I can not forget. My purpose. The Light. Soon.

He fought his way out of sleep. I congratulate him for being so strong after no movement for this amount of time. I must not react to it yet or my "Partner" will catch some idea that it was my doing. He can't control me for much longer. Kicking. Screaming. I will fight. Dark or not. I will not allow this to go on.

He's grown up so much. She's here too. All the pieces are in place for the grand finale. Is your chessboard set, oh seeker of darkness? I won't let you have my heart. Never again. I have to let go. You WILL let go. I rebuke and refute your power over me. A wilted flower is what she is. That is your fault. I'm fighting my mind. It's you. You're there. LEAVE.

Your plan won't work. I let his heart free. So did the Light. So did the Darkness. Are the Light and I contrasting powers? Will we be the balance from now on? It's a part of me though I have no power through it anymore. Raging, drowning in ashes. Lines in the sand. They've been set. You will be dead and gone.

Your end is here. Darkness. LIGHT. I am blinded by his brilliant light. Thank you for being my hero. I see what you are not, what you can't see, that's what you are. Hope, is here. Light, is here. Love, is here. Here I am again. A Choice I wish I'd made, I made too late. You changed me. You are my Hero. You are everyone's hero. You are so strong, while I am weak. Your heart is so strong. That Boy. He was wrong. I'm no Hero. Not to you. Even when we are separated there is only one great sky. All the worlds are the same in some ways. No matter where you are, I'll find you. You're my Hero, I won't let you go like before.

I wish I was like you, willing to stand up, even being an impulsive person like you are sometimes. Everything I wish I was, you are. But I have something you can never imitate.

Having a Friend Like you.

Riku~


End file.
